Photo with 3 notes
In recent news nobody cares about:
Me: So my sister decided to be cool and get me Pokemon Black. Pretty late, aren’t I?
Person: Whatever, it’s fine. Wait, since when did you have a DS?
Me: Since Wednesday. I’ve been playing it since then at that.
Person: Really?
Me: Yep. Chose a starter, and three badges later, it’s suddenly Saturday. I have absolutely no idea where all that time went.
Last games I had were Gold (RIP) and Crystal for the Gameboy Color. Changing from that to this was probably the the most jolting thing ever. Everything’s so new. Like entering doors through the side. Or having three actual dimensions. Or seeing how much I suck at double battles, God only knows how I’ll do with triple. Or actually having something that vaguely resembles a strategy instead of spamming powerful attacks and spamming any damage with as many potions and shit as possible. Either way, it’s fun and addicting, if not engrossing - there’s piles and piles of tabs of things on the internet I’ve still got to check out and I’m not posting this nearing 7 in the morning because I woke up early.
Chat with 1 note
Thing I do when stuff:
- Person: What was I doing?
- Me: You were gonna give me $20.
- Person: No.
- ---------------
- Person: Crap, forgot what I was gonna -
- Me: You were gonna give me $40.
- Person: No.
- ---------------
- Person: I'm so bored!
- Me: So give me $50!
- Person: No!
How to make sure someone’s awake:
[Context: This was a friend, and she called me on the phone. She talked in a cheery manner, as she always had. I might’ve paraphrased a little to get the point across. It was 9 am on a Sunday, I think.]
Me: [groggy] Hello?
Her: [meekly] Hey Victor, are you up?
Me: [still sleepy] Not quite.
Her: [suddenly a bit louder] Well, wake up! You’re late for school!
Me: [skeptical] Yeah?
Her: C’mon, wake up! I got something for you.
Me: …It’s not school yet, it’s a Sunday.
Her: Noooo, no it’s not. You slept aaallll the way through Sunday. So it’s Monday, which means you’re late!
Me: [amused] No, I’m looking at the calendar right now and everything - it’s a Sunday.
Her: [pause; she’s probably grinning] Aww, alright, you got me. Anyway, I’ve got to ask you a question.
Me: [chuckling] Alright, what is it?
Her: When was the last time you masturbated?
Me: ….Wait what?
Chat with 1 note
We're leaving for Virginia Beach tomorrow, and I still have no idea what exactly we'll be doing.
- Mom: We'll be leaving between 3 and 5.
- Camille: Okay. I think I can do that.
- Me: Yeah. In the afternoon, right?
- Mom: [laughs]
Post with 6 notes
“How to Hide with Dignity from Your Middle School Crush After You Recognize Her with Her Boyfriend by the Sheer Height of His Hair”, an excerpt.
Me: [listening to music in the back of the car, looks at a car to left] “Haha, that guy’s hair is so tall.” [stares] “It’s almost brushing the roof of the car. Kinda looks like that idi-“
[pause]
Me: ”…No, can’t be. I wonder who’s in the driver’s se- FUCK.”
Camille: [talking to mom] “-and that’s what happened.” [looks at the car] “…Victor, is that-“
Me: ”YES. DRIVE.”
“DAD. DRIVE. WHY AREN’T YOU DRIVING. DAD.”
Dad: [backing out of parking space] ”What’s wrong?” [stops car, looks over at them] “Do you know them?”
[Note: My dad is staring at them, my mom’s confused, I’m hiding, my sister finds this hilarious, and the car isn’t moving at all.]
Me: ”D- DAD. THIS ISN’T DRIVING.”
Chat reblogged from In A Nutshell with 15 notes
Quizzing Victor on the finer points of driving.
- Me: On a slippery road, what do you do with the brakes? Because if you stomp down on the brake you...what's the word again?
- Victor: Astroglide?
- [pause]
- Victor: I-
- Me: WHAT?!
- Victor: [facepalms and mutters] I mean hydroplane.
Chat with 3 notes
If you're any bit aware of British shows, you might get this.
- 1: Knock knock.
- 2: Who's there?
- 1: Doctor.
- 2: Doctor Who?
- 1: YES, IT'S ME NOW LET ME BACK INTO THE TARDIS.
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