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In recent news nobody cares about:
Me: So my sister decided to be cool and get me Pokemon Black. Pretty late, aren’t I?
Person: Whatever, it’s fine. Wait, since when did you have a DS?
Me: Since Wednesday. I’ve been playing it since then at that.
Me: Yep. Chose a starter, and three badges later, it’s suddenly Saturday. I have absolutely no idea where all that time went.
Last games I had were Gold (RIP) and Crystal for the Gameboy Color. Changing from that to this was probably the the most jolting thing ever. Everything’s so new. Like entering doors through the side. Or having three actual dimensions. Or seeing how much I suck at double battles, God only knows how I’ll do with triple. Or actually having something that vaguely resembles a strategy instead of spamming powerful attacks and spamming any damage with as many potions and shit as possible. Either way, it’s fun and addicting, if not engrossing - there’s piles and piles of tabs of things on the internet I’ve still got to check out and I’m not posting this nearing 7 in the morning because I woke up early.
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[Context: This was a friend, and she called me on the phone. She talked in a cheery manner, as she always had. I might’ve paraphrased a little to get the point across. It was 9 am on a Sunday, I think.]
Me: [groggy] Hello?
Her: [meekly] Hey Victor, are you up?
Me: [still sleepy] Not quite.
Her: [suddenly a bit louder] Well, wake up! You’re late for school!
Me: [skeptical] Yeah?
Her: C’mon, wake up! I got something for you.
Me: …It’s not school yet, it’s a Sunday.
Her: Noooo, no it’s not. You slept aaallll the way through Sunday. So it’s Monday, which means you’re late!
Me: [amused] No, I’m looking at the calendar right now and everything - it’s a Sunday.
Her: [pause; she’s probably grinning] Aww, alright, you got me. Anyway, I’ve got to ask you a question.
Me: [chuckling] Alright, what is it?
Her: When was the last time you masturbated?
Me: ….Wait what?
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Me: [listening to music in the back of the car, looks at a car to left] “Haha, that guy’s hair is so tall.” [stares] “It’s almost brushing the roof of the car. Kinda looks like that idi-“
Me: ”…No, can’t be. I wonder who’s in the driver’s se- FUCK.”
Camille: [talking to mom] “-and that’s what happened.” [looks at the car] “…Victor, is that-“
Me: ”YES. DRIVE.”
“DAD. DRIVE. WHY AREN’T YOU DRIVING. DAD.”
Dad: [backing out of parking space] ”What’s wrong?” [stops car, looks over at them] “Do you know them?”
[Note: My dad is staring at them, my mom’s confused, I’m hiding, my sister finds this hilarious, and the car isn’t moving at all.]
Me: ”D- DAD. THIS ISN’T DRIVING.”
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